A Recent Blue and Dreamy Afternoon

Recently I was feeling blue for no really good reason. My son fell asleep in the car on the way home from something so I was stuck in the car. But luckily I had my journal and my sketchbook (I’ve been taking them with me if I go in the car near nap time – just in case).

I drove about 2 miles from my house to a spot that overlooks Bellingham Bay. I got out my journal thinking I’d brainstorm ways to get out of my funky mood. Instead, as I opened my journal, I was inspired to daydream.

I asked myself what I would like my life to look like a few years from now, and to dream BIG. This is nothing really new. I dream all the time. And I do dream big. But I wrote out the 5-years-from-now vision in present tense, as if it were now.

About two pages in, I stopped myself. I smirked. I realized, while all this was very cool and sounded wonderful, first off, it was not too far off from where I’m at now. I mean, if I were to ask what that version of 5-years-from-now could look like 5 years earlier, it’s my life now. I’m just a 5-year-earlier version of that supposed big dream. That was a pretty awesome and funny moment for me.

Even more awesome though: I stopped myself because I was describing my relationship with my son 5 years from now. I realized I didn’t even want or need to go there. What I realized was that I want and need to focus on now. I want to enjoy his sweet little 2-year-old self while it lasts and not worry too terribly much about his 7-year-old self lest life passes us both by.

And really, despite the fact that I think dreams are essential, I know that also, I really want and need to focus on now in all the other aspects of my life too. I think I was blue because subconsciously I had slipped out of the moment that afternoon. I looked out over the bay, then over my shoulder at my sleeping son in the back seat and slipped right back into the moment.

I’ve been working at becoming an illustrator for an embarrassing amount of time. And it’s fun. I’m so thrilled that I have the chance. Thank you Universe for my life as it is now. It’s a dream come true.